Soggy
Such a nasty word…or so you thought. So my husband thinks. But I am here to reclaim it. I am a soggy mommy. We tend to use labels to define our parenting choices because it makes it easier to stand by them when called into question. We mothers like to categorize and organize our thoughts so they might be easier to sift through in a challenging moment. Soggy means many things. First and foremost, being soggy, or filled with moisture and soft, is the greatest. Trees take root and grow taller, bigger, and stronger in soggy soil. If a tree manages to grow out of rough, barren, dry terrain it is given special accolades because of the difficulties. I want my daughter to have the best possible soil to sprout from. That is why I make my parenting decisions on what fits for us, not what is trendy, on a flyer from my pediatricians office, and certainly not from what other moms tell me is right.
The harshest judges of mothers are first and foremost, themselves, and then other mothers. Specifically crunchy granola mothers. Oh, what kind of bottle is that you’re using? Mine is made of recycled plastics and is eco-friendly. What kind of cereal and formula do you buy? I breastfeed exclusively, eat all organic so my breast milk is organic too, and buy the highest priced organic natural cereal I can find. Little crunchy nugget only plays with toys and wears clothes hand-sewn by hippies in a commune. I give only the best to my crunchy nugget, and the superior choice is crunchy. Crunchy moms bark their greatness with all of the latest organic granola trends. It’s so enervative to the other moms that opt out of crunchiness that we often feel ashamed of our less eco-conscious ways.
GIVE ME A BREAK! Just because the latest trend is to shell out thousands a year for designer organic crap, that doesn’t make you a better mom than me. My daughter is happy, healthy, we are both loving life, and we are soggy from head to toe.
I am the Soggy Crusader (dah dah dah dah!) because I am out to defend and change the norm of mothering in our current society. That, and most days I am literally soaked in spit up or drool. Literally soggy. Sorry, back to the topic at hand: mothers like myself should feel comfortable using non-organic generic formula if they are unable or chose not to breastfeed, disposable diapers because we hate laundry enough that adding poo-drenched nappies to the pile is just insane, bottles that are clear plastic and on sale at the chain store (gasp), and maybe even buy big brand baby purees.
I have felt judged from the moment I pushed my soggy nugget out that I am not making the right decisions. There’s a constant chirp in my ear from crunchy friends that makes me believe that I make my parenting choices because I am uninformed about what is best for my gorgeous daughter. That couldn’t be farther from the truth! I research and read gobs of literature on child-rearing and have come to the conclusion that just because celebrities say crunchy and organic is best for their child, it is absolutely not right for mine.
My goal is to take a moment every day to write down one thought, moment, or example of how a soggy mother lives. Hopefully this makes sense to at least one other mother out there who is struggling to feel comfortable with their non-crunchy choices in this granola filled world.
So, here is my thought for the day: Well, soggy nugget and I are flying back home in two weeks to visit our families (I’m sure there will be LOADS to post on from that adventure, given that none of my friends have kids and they live Seattle, one of the most granola areas in the country. People who don’t have kids always think they are the best parents…) and I’m already having anxiety about it! She likes her bottles warmed up and they have to be thickened so she doesn’t reflux and spit up all over everything. So, how am I going to thicken and warm her bottles on the plane? We use gelmix, something a friend of mine frowned at because, in her odious opinion, it shouldn’t be used on infants due to the fact that some people abuse it and give it to too young of children. Um…soggy nugget is 5 and a half months and has been getting thickened bottles for the past 2 months. Does that make me a bad mom?! Unless you have a child with reflux and have dealt with all that it entails, including hours of the nugget screaming in pain, then please do not tell me that the one piece of information you have from a source you cannot remember trumps my months of first-hand experience.
Back to the matter at hand: Gelmix requires that the formula be heated beyond safe temperatures for the child to drink, and then cooled back down again so it will bind correctly. This is going to be impossible to accomplish on a plane. I cannot pre-mix the formula and gelmix because it will not keep long enough on the trip. So I am going to play scientist today and see if I can thicken just the water and add the formula later when she is ready to feed. Fingers crossed that it works! I’ll post pictures and update later.
Until then, stay soggy and proud!
